Stupid, but still fun

While my homework is piling up in a very unhealthy way, I'm at least starting to do it. I'm not completely useless with them anymore. It's hard, but I've figured out a way to do it, and although it's stupid and wrong, it's the best I can do right now. I'm not the Hermione I used to be anymore, sadly.

I've started doing the fun stuff before the boring (as in school work). Role-playing, in other words. You see, when you are active on a RPG site and has just posted, you have to wait for another one to post before you can post again. And while waiting for that to happen, I usually find I can concentrate on the boring things. Weird, but since when has anything not weird worked for me lately?

Now I've been thinking of taking up role-playing Rei-chan again. I've missed her a lot lately. And I know a place where I probably would just have to say "hello, I'm back" to get to play her. And that RPG is starting to look really inviting and exciting. (If anyone wonders, it's Court Intrigue. Google it; it's awesome, although there's major spoilers if you haven't read and looked at everything Sailor Moon.) But it's not a very wise thing to do, because it will give me less time for school work. So yeah, I'm probably gonna be doing something stupid very soon, but I do that all the time nowadays, so there's really no point in feeling bad about it. I think I've learned to block some feelings, and overall, that's probably a good thing. Dunno where I would be right now if I couldn't. Probably don't want to know, either.

I mean, I almost started crying in school a few days ago, in front of Kristina, Lena and Ida. Kristina knows a bit about my problems right now, and she asked how I was doing. I said, truthfully, it isn't any better than when she asked last time, rather the opposite. Then she asked if I needed any help, someone to talk to, looking all concerned. The bloody woman sat there and cared. All three of them did. And it just hurt to see that they did it more than other people, other people who really should. But no, I didn't cry. My tears are for no-one to see except myself these days. I've made up my mind about that already, and that's not going to change. I don't want anyone feeling concerned about me. I can live without stupid sympathy. End of story.