RPG

Remus Lupin, James Potter, Alisa Archer, Vampiru, Sailor Mars, Sailor Venus, Sailor Sedna, Zareb, Stitch, Bellatrix Black (as in before she got married and was still at Hogwarts), Narcissa Black (same goes for her as for Bella), Hermione Granger, Sailor Virgo, Hawkseye, Sailor Star Healer, Mariah Sparrow. I think that pretty much sums up the characters I've played in RPGs, along with some random fairies and elves who I've made up myself. And it's so bloody fun, every time I do it.

So then, why do I sometimes drop out of it completely? My longest gap has been several months, and it's with one of my favourite charas to play; Vampiru, the beautiful Hikari-Vampi-chan-sama, half vampire, half human, daughter of Dracul(a), and hating her "curse" of having to drink human blood, fighting, ever so coolly, by the side of the Senshi, although a bit reluctant. In love with Galaxia (well, kinda, it never really got past the kissy faces, but both players wants it to, I think), playing a major part in two fan fictions I want to write, she is awesome, and she was the first chara I played on a big RP site. At least it was big back then, I've since learned that there are bigger... which I also dropped out from. Because I suck like that.

Tonight I did my third comeback at SCT. So, the first one was understandable, because I had a lot on my mind. Still has, but I've started RP Remus, James and Alisa again, so I thought, why not give it another try now, when I'm in such a vampire mood after reading Twilight? I just don't get myself in this aspect, because these drop-outs make no sense at all. They just... come, and I feel horrible about letting my charas and the other players down. Healer and Vampiru are furious, no kidding. The hardest part is to start writing, after that everything runs as smoothly as it can, unless I need to look something up or gets distracted by Hikari-sama. The last one happens a lot when playing Vampiru.

I need to learn to give myself a kick in the right RP direction, or make the part of my brain owned by Vampiru bigger and even more threatening than it already is. It might actually be a good thing… In a bad way. Because I love Vampiru, and I’d love to have her own my brain, but I don’t want her personality to be transferred to me (which is highly unlikely right now, for reasons I know all to well myself, but still…).

So yeah. Kick myself. Or shoot me, as I say so many times these days. And let Vampi-chan take over my brain a bit more. Why does that sound ecchi? >_<